WOW!! Oh my G-d!!! This year has been the most wonderful, crazy, hectic, aweful, terrible, sweet, amazing, bizarre, confusing, chaotic, creative, empty, full, overbooked, boring, and every other good or not so good adjective that means any of the above things ever invented in the history of the world in any and every language.
From Israel Study Tour, visiting Poland and Israel, to being a senior. From having the best boyfriend ever, to losing him. From having the most kick ass marching band show in the history of our marching band, to just barely missing first place, and knowing that we deserved it. From gaining many new friends, to feeling like I'm slipping away from my old ones. From writing some of my best "poetry" ever and creating a whole new style, to feeling like I couldn't write for a while. From starting speech, to finding out that the amazing speech coach, Mrs. Graham, is not going to continue to be able to work at our school any more due to faculty cuts that our school has been forced to make.
I don't think that I can recap the whole year in one post, so I don't think that I am going to try, just because no matter how much you like to read you certainly wouldn't get all the way through it.
I now need to make decisions about where I am going to go to college, and I have really NO idea how in the world I am going to make those decisions. I am so lost and confused about everything espcially about college and all that comes along with it.
I don't know what I am doing for prom. It is coming up just as quickly as the college deadlines are.
Also, when we came home from Salida where we went on spring break, the house next door was completely torn down. And I am really, well, torn up about it. I have told some of the people that I am close to how I feel about it, and all they have to say is "but it's not like it's your house".
And they're right. But, at the same time, it was a very influential house to me. I never lived there, but I learned many important lessons there. I learned not to kick down my neighbor's front door. I learned that my dog doesn't like water. I also learned that once the dogs get out the kicked in front door, it is very difficult to chase them down and get them back inside. So, as you can see, that house had a huge impact on my life!
Another thing is that just yesterday my older brother, his wife, and their little girl Tehilla all just came from Israel to visit. Now we have a little girl running around our non-baby-proofed-house. So, yeah, that will work out really well won't it?
Also yesterday, I made a huge realization. I am still "in love" with my exboyfriend. He is one of my best friends in the world and I still haven't ever felt like I was ever not in love with him and I wish that I could just get over it now and get it over with. What makes it worse, is that even though I don't think that he is planning on dating her (but there is some speculation) but he is planning on taking this other younger girl to prom. I am going to prom so I don't know how I am going to deal with the fact that he is with her, and even more so if he is planning on dating her!! Arrrrrrrgggh!!!!!!!!!! I don't know why I didn't go through this earlier. I know the dating thing changes things a bit, but I was feeling this before I found out, so I just don't know.
Last, bit definatly not least, I have been having troubles with my writing. I know that I still have some talent at it, but I don't find my own skills quite as great as I once thought I was. I used to really like everything that I wrote, and I thought it was all the greatest writing in the world, but now I'm not so sure. I guess I just seem to be floundering around and around and not going anywhere of any consequence. I just don't know why!
This year is almost over, and I just don't know what the heck I am going to do with the rest of it and how I am ever going to survive. Whatever!!
Lizzie~
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3 comments:
Hi Lizzie,
thanks for posting on my blog. Of course you're not a dork... lol... believe me I am as crazy as you are. I can attain unbelievable levels of craziness, you know why? Because my best friend back home told me that in life you have to be a bit crazy... come up with crazy ideas, say crazy things etc because that will make you successful in life!!!
You can post anything you wish on my blog :)) the crazier the comments are, the happier I am to read them. And yes, I DO HATE snow... lol... I just like watching snow falling but not when its time to go to school etc ;)
Have a nice week you too. I will make more wallpapers soon as this is my last week of classes. My exams start in around 2 weeks.
Hi Lizzie - Thanks for visiting again! Wow, this has been quite a year for you! I can understand why you are in a quandry with your writing. Just relax about it, and your muse will be visiting soon.
I would think you could talk to counselors at school or that your Mom and Dad would be able to help you with a college decision.
And about the house next door being torn down. I understand completely how you feel a real loss. It was part of your life forever and probably seemed like it was one of the things that would comfortably, never change. And suddenly it's gone! It made you realize that nothing is permanent.
Yes, it will take a while to get over your first love. I think that remaining friends will make that a lot harder. Usually one of the people is still in love and being friends is a way to be close. The best thing to do would be to sever all ties with him and move on with your life. It sounds like he has moved on and going with someone to the prom is "dating". I think you already know that. Maybe in the future you can be friends- but now, it will only give you more heartache.
I hope my advice doesn't upset you. Actually you seem like a very "typical" teenager with a good head on her shoulders. Good luck and keep your positive attitude.
Hi
Nice picture, is that a rose? Hmmmm its been quite some time since i've created flowers....
btw taking off snow from your car is a great way of building muscles.. lol... specially when they are sticky and almost ice... haha!
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