Summer...!

Hey all! I know...long time no blog, but there have been a lot of things happening lately. I went to Minnesota, and I have been volunteering at my mom's work, and I have been cleaning the house so I can actually get paid for something this summer. So, I am sorry that it has been so long since I posted last, and I am sorry that this post is so short and so, well, not very inspired or inspiring, or even the slightest bit of any interest.
I hope that all is well with all of you, and that everyone, whether they read this post or not (but moreso if they do, hey what can I say? I'm biased), is having and continues to have a wonderful summer!
Lizzie~

Writing...

I was going back and looking through all of the posts from my past, and I realized that I haven't put up any poems for quite some time. Now I have two.
They both have almost the same title, and they are both what is called a "list" poem.
One is MUCH more light-hearted than the other. But I just thought that you might enjoy them. They are in chronological order.

Things I Learned Last Week

You send two men to a fishing expo,
You will find a pontoon boat in your basement.

When in kindergarten,
People teach you to fill in the lines.
Then there is school,
Teachers tell you to write between the lines.
As an adult,
They tell you to sign on the lines.
Then someone tells you to be abstract.
You don't know how, no one ever taught you.

Never plug something into a bad plug,
You may not have power for a day.

Life goes on,
But if you are stuck,
Sometimes friends can be the best tow trucks.

It's ok for life to be a whirlwind,
But don't spin too fast,
Or all the pretty sights will be nothing but a blur.

Walking on a crust of hard snow is good,
Until you fall through.

Things don't need to have a purpose,
Some things just...are.

Money rocks, but only if you have it.

Snow is cold, really cold.
Sun doesn't help you warm up all that much!

(Inspiration: what a wierd week!, Date:1/18/07)


Things I Learned Last Week
(And A Bit of This Week Too)

Writing is good, but overrated.

When you are depressed, beware of spontaneous explosion.

Most circumstances are only as akward as you make them.

You are never really as good as you think you are,
But then again, you aren't as terrible either.

Death and suicide scare people,
Don't mention it to them.

If you have an epiphany, keep it to yourself until the "oppotune moment",
Just trust me.

Insanity sucks, but it can be good for you.

You can be independant and relationship based at the same time,
Who knew?


(Date: 3/4/08)

So, yeah. Those are just two poems that I thought you might enjoy. If you didn't enjoy one, you are bound to have enjoyed another...or not... I guess that's your choice.
I hope that you are having better weeks than both of those that I have written about!
Lizzie~

A LOT of Nothing, But Some Good Somethings too

Well, I finished waching Anger Management, and I guess it's not such a bad movie after all. But it is still wierd!!
Also, I don't know...I guess that I have been in a little bit of a funk this last week or so. It's not like I'm really sad or anything, I just am not much of anything. I haven't been feeling particularily good or bad about anything, just always so so. Whatever. (Look at that, I prove my own point without thinking!)
So, I don't know. I have just not had a lot to say, hence the two short posts right in a row. But at the same time, the only reason I have posted two so close together is because I feel like I should have something to say. You know?? I don't know. Maybe that's just me being weird.
Hope that everyone is doing fabulously!
Kunal, thanks for the kind mentions on your blog, I am SO very proud to have been a part of your creative masterpiece, and I REALLY can't wait!
Lizzie~
P.S. For anyone who read this and wondered what I meant about creative masterpiece, I highly suggest checking out Kunal's blog, he really is quite talented!!
He is one of my "favorite links" on the right side over there.

Anger Management

So guys...Guess what??
I haven't been sick for a couple of weeks now!! I am so happy!
I am watching Anger Management right now. I am wondering what the heck is going on. I don't know what is going on. I don't know what the point of the entire thing is. I don't know why I am continuing to watch it, I guess that I just REALLY want to know that it ends up all right. I don't want to keep watching but I just can't stop. What do you think of this movie?? Do you find it as bizarre and pointless as I do?
I was just wondering.
Lizzie~

Talk about under the weather!!

Guess what!! I'm sick. No, not just "sick-of-something" but sick. I have a head cold! Isn't that fabulous!?!?!? Yeah...I hate being sick!
During band season and the school year I get sick all the time (but espcially band season) because of the late nights and some stress from school work. But now, I'm not stressed, I don't have school work, and even though I have had some late nights, they have been self-imposed, and I have slept in the next day. (Not like band where we can get home at 10 and I will wake up at 5:45 a.m. the next day for school.) So I just don't get it!!!
I am coughing, sneezing (and I wish I would sneeze more, 'cause that is better than just sniffing and attempting to blow my nose all the time!!), and all yesterday I felt miserable. Arg!!!!!
I HATE being sick!!!!!!!!!!
Well, now that I have officially ranted about being sick and hating it, I can continue to say that the day that the whole sick thing started was the afternoon and evening on the day that I had my Graduation party!!! Yay!! Luckily that was in the morning! Good timing for a let down of the immune system! Yay for my bodie's good timing!
Also, I am proud to say, that I got my new MP3 player on the day of Graduation, and I am super stoked!! Now I have a way to listen to music again!!
So, that is about all that I have to say. I think I would have had more had I not had a head cold, but I don't really know! I also don't know if that is a bad thing...hmmmm...
Oh well!
Have a super, hopefully not as sick as me, day and week and whatever.
Lizzie~
P.S. Happy belated Memorial Day!

And just when you think it's going to get better...

It does!!

I have been feeling so much better than the last time I posted. Even though little Tehilla is gone with her family, and I am still in "love" with my ex, some good, no, great things have happened.

I asked a guy to prom, and he said yes (!!!!!!!!!) and I am very excited. I learned a new thing about my blog (I put a new puppy on under Giggles the purple monkey), and I have been haveing a blast celebrating Passover.

This post is almost as long as the Wisdom Teeth one, and much less...umm...profound, but what can I say?

NOTHING!!!

Well, I hope that everyone out there's lives are as good as or better than mine right now. And I wish you all a happy Tuesday, may this week go more quickly than the last one!!

Lizzie~

P.S. It's my brother's birthday today. Sam is my brother, anoying and crazy as he is supposed to be as a younger brother.

P.P.S. IT'S SPRING!!!!!

What a year this has been, and will be!

WOW!! Oh my G-d!!! This year has been the most wonderful, crazy, hectic, aweful, terrible, sweet, amazing, bizarre, confusing, chaotic, creative, empty, full, overbooked, boring, and every other good or not so good adjective that means any of the above things ever invented in the history of the world in any and every language.

From Israel Study Tour, visiting Poland and Israel, to being a senior. From having the best boyfriend ever, to losing him. From having the most kick ass marching band show in the history of our marching band, to just barely missing first place, and knowing that we deserved it. From gaining many new friends, to feeling like I'm slipping away from my old ones. From writing some of my best "poetry" ever and creating a whole new style, to feeling like I couldn't write for a while. From starting speech, to finding out that the amazing speech coach, Mrs. Graham, is not going to continue to be able to work at our school any more due to faculty cuts that our school has been forced to make.

I don't think that I can recap the whole year in one post, so I don't think that I am going to try, just because no matter how much you like to read you certainly wouldn't get all the way through it.

I now need to make decisions about where I am going to go to college, and I have really NO idea how in the world I am going to make those decisions. I am so lost and confused about everything espcially about college and all that comes along with it.

I don't know what I am doing for prom. It is coming up just as quickly as the college deadlines are.

Also, when we came home from Salida where we went on spring break, the house next door was completely torn down. And I am really, well, torn up about it. I have told some of the people that I am close to how I feel about it, and all they have to say is "but it's not like it's your house".

And they're right. But, at the same time, it was a very influential house to me. I never lived there, but I learned many important lessons there. I learned not to kick down my neighbor's front door. I learned that my dog doesn't like water. I also learned that once the dogs get out the kicked in front door, it is very difficult to chase them down and get them back inside. So, as you can see, that house had a huge impact on my life!

Another thing is that just yesterday my older brother, his wife, and their little girl Tehilla all just came from Israel to visit. Now we have a little girl running around our non-baby-proofed-house. So, yeah, that will work out really well won't it?

Also yesterday, I made a huge realization. I am still "in love" with my exboyfriend. He is one of my best friends in the world and I still haven't ever felt like I was ever not in love with him and I wish that I could just get over it now and get it over with. What makes it worse, is that even though I don't think that he is planning on dating her (but there is some speculation) but he is planning on taking this other younger girl to prom. I am going to prom so I don't know how I am going to deal with the fact that he is with her, and even more so if he is planning on dating her!! Arrrrrrrgggh!!!!!!!!!! I don't know why I didn't go through this earlier. I know the dating thing changes things a bit, but I was feeling this before I found out, so I just don't know.

Last, bit definatly not least, I have been having troubles with my writing. I know that I still have some talent at it, but I don't find my own skills quite as great as I once thought I was. I used to really like everything that I wrote, and I thought it was all the greatest writing in the world, but now I'm not so sure. I guess I just seem to be floundering around and around and not going anywhere of any consequence. I just don't know why!

This year is almost over, and I just don't know what the heck I am going to do with the rest of it and how I am ever going to survive. Whatever!!

Lizzie~

And Now I Have No Wisdom...

Wisdom teeth...
That's about all I have to say.
Along with a few choice words.
Like:
Stupid
and
Painful
and
Really
and
Stupid
and
REALLY REALLY STUPID!!!!!!!
Yeah...
I am really good at writing today, don't you think?
Well, enjoy your day, because I just know I'll be enjoying mine!
Whoop-dee-tap-dancing-doo!
Have a fabulous-not-pain-filled day!
Lizzie~

Band, Law, Boys, Brothers, Girls, and a little bit of School in Between

Wow! It has been so long since I have even been on here, nonetheless actually posted! Since that time, my band has taken second in state (though if we had gotten to actually perform a second time like we were supposed to we would have won!), gotten an intrest in law, had times of wondering about the stability of my relationship with my boyfriend, wondered about whether my brother is really the person he seems to be, been completely fed up wiht some girls and gotten closer with others, and then had to keep up with my school work even with all these important things going on.

First off, let me tell you the darker news. I have no idea what is going on with me and my boyfriend. Sometimes we are the closest people on earth and he isn't just a boyfriend but also a best friend. Other times I can say "hi, how are you?" and all I'll get is a shrug and "good". I just want to say "yeah, whatever to you too", but I don't. I guess that I am just very very confused!!
Now for the lighter stuff. Law! I love law! I thought that people who said that they thought that I would do well in law were completely off their rocker, but now that I get into it, I love it!!!

Then, band. I know that what I said about us winning sounds like what everyone who gets second says, but this time it is true. The judges that Dr. C talked with almost all told him that they knew that had we been able to perform again we would have taken state!! Then Dr.C said that this last football game that we did was like our finals performance, and if that is true then we so totally win, becuase Legacy (1st place band) was so scared that they didn't even show up, meaning we win by default!!

Next, my brother. So, he has had some problems in the past; lighting his pants on fire, drinking, setting things other than his pants on fire (the bank of the canal for one), going to court for arson, ect. But just this weekend I learned something about him that I would never have guessed. He told me his "little secret" (which he will never actually know I told you becuase you won't tell!!!!!). His "little secret" is that he actually watches and enjoys the show on MTV Americas Next Top Model. We spent all of Saturday night watching the reruns that I had taped from that day. It was a wierd sort of bonding time for us.

Girls. I have been getting kind of fed up with some girls (in band) and at the same time I have grown closer with others. I will stick with telling you about the good not the bad. There is this girl who I first really got to know when I invited her over to talk with me on my trampoline (a VERY good place to talk), and we talked about all the things that we thought were really important, but were really nothing. This weekend I saw that she didn't look so happy, so I sat her down on the sidewalk and told her to spill it. After she did, I gave her advice on what to do (it was a guy problem) and then when I was done she said that the sidewalk was not nearly as comfortable as a trampoline, but that she was glad that I would give her advice any way. Just this morning she said that she had done what I told her to do (advised her to do) and I was thinking oh no it made him hate you and you are blaming me, then she continued to say that there was a rumour going around that he was going to ask her out sometime this week. I was so proud of her for sucking up her pride just like I told her to!

Then school, well, other than the fact that I love having a whole class dedicated to poetry, there isn't much I can say!!

And now that I have thouroughly bored you till your brain turned to mush and dripped out your ears (see why I don't often write in the morning), I have a poem for you.


Roses are red,
Violets are purple,
NOTHING RHYMES WITH PURPLE!!

So we say that
violets are blue,
so we can rhyme it with words like
You, to, two, too, and achoo!!

So, roses are red,
and violets are blue,
but they're really not blue,
they're really violet which is
a kind of purple,
but nothing rhymes with purple-
or orange- unless you say it
wierd 'cause then it sounds like doorhinge.

But doorhinge doesn't make for
very good poetry-
or does it?

Roses are red,
Oranges are orange,
Nick Weiber* I want you to run into a doorhinge.
The end!

*You probably don't dislike Nick like I do, so you can insert the name of anyone you dislike in Nick's spot and it will work the same (though first and last names or a 2 syllable name works best for flow and rhythm)

What a life this is turning out to be!

Hey all you out there!

I am back from a long break from blogging. I was initially planning on sharing more of my experiences from Israel, but right now I feel a little differently. I guess that I have just been having a weird time in my life, and I don't exactly know why. My family is getting ready for some remodling on my house, my grandmother just moved here from California, and other weird things. I have a set of really good friends and I feel like even though I am still really close to all of them, that they are falling a little away from each other. I also am worried that my boyfriend (who means SO much to me) may not be as into our relationship as he was in the beginning, and the person that I have always felt that I could talk to about things like that, well, I guess that I feel like I can't tell her that for no good reason. I don't know why I can't just tell her. Is it because I am insecure, or because I am embarrassed about my insecurities, or because I feel like she is going to tell me that I am just making it up and I am going to feel stupid, or maybe because I feel like if I say it out loud that it makes it true. I don't know!!

I really don't know what to do about anything that is going on in my life, it feels like I am losing all my control that I once had and that I no longer hold the horse's reins, and that the horse is holding mine. And not only is the horse holding my reins, but the horse is runnign with them. I am trying to hold on to everything, but it is just slipping past me and into oblivion. I just wish that I could push pause and keep things from happening so quickly, but I just can't.

While I sit here typing all this out, I feel so silly. I just don't know what else to do. Oh, I forgot! To top all these things off, my brother. He has been so all over the place lately. First he sets a fire and gets a court summons and has to do yard work for my parents, then he goes and gets a girlfriend, then he realizes that a girlfriend are going to want him to pay a lot of attention to her, and I don't know if he is ready for that. Then seeing him with his new girlfriend reminds me that I don't know where I stand with my boyfriend and it sort of hurts.

My mom has noticed that I have been a bit off all day today and has asked me what is wrong and I keep telling her that it is nothing. I just don't want her to think that there is anything wrong between Eddie and I and then have nothing wrong at all. I also don't know how comfortable I am with telling her all about my personal relationship and the life that I lead outside of the house.

Now that I have ranted till you couldn't stand my ranting anymore, I will leave you. Hope that none of you have half the problems that I have in my life, but rather have all the joy and much much more!

Lizzie~

Hello, Goodbye

Hello Blogging world! And at the same time, goodbye! I am about to embark on what is bound to be one of the most exciting, saddening, beautiful, life-changing, amazing trips of my life! I am leaving on Monday morning to go to Poland and after a week in Poland, I will fly off to Israel.

I am excited and nervous all at the same time. I am being torn in two by emotions that are both the same and irreconcilible. I have spent the last week and a half in band camp, (with my boyfriend as drummajor, which is so exciting! and my "band daughter" Alyssa) and I have been told by my boyfriend and "daughter" that I will be missed very much for the six weeks I will be gone and that it is sad that they will not see me for that long (being the longest time I have ever been away from them!) !

I have also been struggling through the difficult yet really really cool music. But I will be able to get that memorized by the time I need to.

When I am in Poland, I will see the concentration camps, and that is going to be one of the hardest times for me in my life. I will write so much poetry, that I think I may have to get a new poetry book. So, when I get back I just might have to throw a bunch of poetry at you when I get back in six weeks!

Lizzie~

P.S. I had so much more to write, but I have to go eat dinner!

life is amazing, while you have it

Yes, this is a continuation from the first two "Life is Amazing" posts, and yes life is, and always will be, amazing. In those first two posts in this three part series, I spoke of the troubles I was having with my dog. Fortunatly, and unfortunatly, those troubles are in the past. On Wednesday, we had to put my dog to sleep. Dante was a beagle, and died at the young age of nine. He has been a companion, a company when I was in charge of an empty house watching movies late into the night, and a friend that wouldn't ever have the chance or ability to share my secrets or get mad if I said something wrong. He always had unconditional love for me, and every person he ever met (though he was antisocial when it came to other dogs). He never learned any tricks (other than knowing to come when I said "treat"), and was not always the brightest dog. He was over weight and had a slight pot bellie, but I loved him and he loved me.

My family and I live on a path than many a person and/or animal travel on. When ever a dog would come in our yard from that path, no matter how much bigger they were than Dante, he would howl and howl and chase them away. One time he chased away a couple of cayotes. He was an outside dog, but just recently we had started bringing him inside when he was cold so he could sit with us and watch TV or movies. Then, during the warmer seasons, we would eat outside on our porch and he would join us to beg food off us.

I loved my dog very much, and I will miss him so very much it is hard to even begin imagining, but as my friend Jake says: "life goes on". Not only does it go on, but life is amazing!

Thank you for taking the time to read this. Have a wonderful May!

Lizzie~

P.S. On a much lighter note, Prom is tomorrow, and I am so excited!

It's a Crazy World Out There

Have you ever noticed that one day you just don't know? I certainly have. It almost seems like, one day I just got out of bed and I just didn't know anymore. I find myself using the phrase "I don't know" more and more. I don't know why I am, or why just now. I just don't know!!

How many times has life just decided to throw me a curve ball, when all signs pointed to yet another fast ball? Why? Why is it always when you least expect it? Everyone, well I think everyone, has at least heard of what happened at Virginia Tech(if you haven't, you won't hear about it from me). Well, what a lot of people don't know is that it took place on the memorial day for the Holocaust. That wasn't just a curve ball, it was so far inside, and it nearly took me out.

Sometimes, you think that you can only confide in a few people, and that everyone else just wouldn't understand. Then one day, life just drops someone in front of you, and gives you something to talk about. Then you have no choice but to talk to them about it. Then you realize that all along you were wrong, and have confided in someone else. For me it was someone I hardly even knew. In the one place I least expected to find someone.

I can hardly wait until school is out, and summer starts. But of course I am going to go straight from school into band camp, from band camp to IST and from IST to band camp once again. Then just to escape from band camp, I am going to rush into the welcoming arms of school again. Oh, joy! I know that all of those things are going to be fun, and great experiences for me, but sometimes I just can't help but wish for them all to be cancelled, so that I can spend at least one minute on myself. But, oh well. I did choose for all this. (And I wouldn't give any of it up for the world!)

You know what I hate? Besides snow. No? Well, I hate being invested in a book so that I can't just put it down without being angry with myself, but am so bored with it that I can't force myself to read it for long moments in time. And even worse is, when I know that I have a much better book waiting for me, but can't start it without finishing the other one, for fear of never finishing the other one. Maybe that's just me. Or maybe I am the only one crazy enough to get myself mixed up in stupid positions like that. I don't know!

Apparently I have to go set the table now. My favorite pastime!!

Lizzie~

Having a few problems...

Hey all!
I have some sad news to tell you. Not tragic, thankfully, but sad just the same. We are having technical difficulty after technical difficulty with our internet. The only reason that I am able to be online at all is because I am not at my house, but rather at my dad's work where they are not haveing any trouble whatsoever. I hope that if you haven't already, you will still comment on my last post, even if I don't get to see it until days from now. I am not sure when all of the kinks will be worked out. I may be on tomarrow, I may not be on again (at home) for a few more weeks. I am just not sure.
I am sorry to say this, because I know that I only get to hear from some of you via blogger, so I will not know anything about your lives, and vice versa.
Hope that we get internet again soon! Until then, have a wonderful spring! Smell the flowers! Smile at everyone that you see! I send out my love!
Lizzie~

Brrrrrrr!!!

Ahhhh! It is snowing again! I hate snow! There are some people who think that I am crazy, but snow and I just don't get along. It is too cold, and when you go outside it just gets everywhere! Then you are freezing, gah! (Yes, gah!) Besides that, it means that Dante (my dog) won't get much exercise because he hates snow too! And when he comes inside, he'll track cold wet footprints all over. The ones that you can't see are the worst, 'cause you step in them and they are cold and you didn't expect them!
Besides my dislike of snow, today has started well. I just watched Legally Blonde (one) on TBS, I love that movie!!
Speaking of movies, my family and I just started NetFlix. We haven't gotten a movie yet, but that is to be expected. My mom tried to sign up for the Blockbuster verion of it, but when the guy at the store typed in her email adress, he did it wrong! it was terrible! So we had all this trouble trying to get started, but in the end we just gave up. It took quite a while to get mom to agree to try a online movie rental again, but I really think it will be worth it! Now that we got this one started, I even heard her say that she thinks we will never want to go to Blockbuster again! Good sign? I think so!
I have to start studying for the SAT now, :( too bad!
Have a great day (even though mine is snowy)!
Lizzie~
P.S. Bonjour to Sixtine, if she is out there! :)

Undiscovered Genius

I write a bunch, and some of it I kinda' sorta' like. I especially write poetry. I have submitted to my school's literary arts magazine two years in a row, and have been turned down both times! I am starting to lose hope! I know that part of being a writer is the frustration and hardship of sending in to be published and not being published, but should I have to go through it now? I am thinking of not submitting this year. I don't know if I should! If anyone out there has any suggestions for me, I would love to hear them!