For Kunal...

Hey blogging world...

College and (I'm ashamed to say, Facebook) have taken over my life, but no worries, college is out for the summer, and I will be trying to once again keep up with all of my computer/interweb things! Yay!
Now, for Kunal, some pictures of Makhtesh Ramone:


Pretty landscape
Sorry about the sideways-ness. This was the one oasis in the entire Makhtesh

Impressive, no?

Oooooooo! Look at the pretty layers!
As far as the eye can see
More layers!!!

Summer...!

Hey all! I know...long time no blog, but there have been a lot of things happening lately. I went to Minnesota, and I have been volunteering at my mom's work, and I have been cleaning the house so I can actually get paid for something this summer. So, I am sorry that it has been so long since I posted last, and I am sorry that this post is so short and so, well, not very inspired or inspiring, or even the slightest bit of any interest.
I hope that all is well with all of you, and that everyone, whether they read this post or not (but moreso if they do, hey what can I say? I'm biased), is having and continues to have a wonderful summer!
Lizzie~

Talk about under the weather!!

Guess what!! I'm sick. No, not just "sick-of-something" but sick. I have a head cold! Isn't that fabulous!?!?!? Yeah...I hate being sick!
During band season and the school year I get sick all the time (but espcially band season) because of the late nights and some stress from school work. But now, I'm not stressed, I don't have school work, and even though I have had some late nights, they have been self-imposed, and I have slept in the next day. (Not like band where we can get home at 10 and I will wake up at 5:45 a.m. the next day for school.) So I just don't get it!!!
I am coughing, sneezing (and I wish I would sneeze more, 'cause that is better than just sniffing and attempting to blow my nose all the time!!), and all yesterday I felt miserable. Arg!!!!!
I HATE being sick!!!!!!!!!!
Well, now that I have officially ranted about being sick and hating it, I can continue to say that the day that the whole sick thing started was the afternoon and evening on the day that I had my Graduation party!!! Yay!! Luckily that was in the morning! Good timing for a let down of the immune system! Yay for my bodie's good timing!
Also, I am proud to say, that I got my new MP3 player on the day of Graduation, and I am super stoked!! Now I have a way to listen to music again!!
So, that is about all that I have to say. I think I would have had more had I not had a head cold, but I don't really know! I also don't know if that is a bad thing...hmmmm...
Oh well!
Have a super, hopefully not as sick as me, day and week and whatever.
Lizzie~
P.S. Happy belated Memorial Day!

What a year this has been, and will be!

WOW!! Oh my G-d!!! This year has been the most wonderful, crazy, hectic, aweful, terrible, sweet, amazing, bizarre, confusing, chaotic, creative, empty, full, overbooked, boring, and every other good or not so good adjective that means any of the above things ever invented in the history of the world in any and every language.

From Israel Study Tour, visiting Poland and Israel, to being a senior. From having the best boyfriend ever, to losing him. From having the most kick ass marching band show in the history of our marching band, to just barely missing first place, and knowing that we deserved it. From gaining many new friends, to feeling like I'm slipping away from my old ones. From writing some of my best "poetry" ever and creating a whole new style, to feeling like I couldn't write for a while. From starting speech, to finding out that the amazing speech coach, Mrs. Graham, is not going to continue to be able to work at our school any more due to faculty cuts that our school has been forced to make.

I don't think that I can recap the whole year in one post, so I don't think that I am going to try, just because no matter how much you like to read you certainly wouldn't get all the way through it.

I now need to make decisions about where I am going to go to college, and I have really NO idea how in the world I am going to make those decisions. I am so lost and confused about everything espcially about college and all that comes along with it.

I don't know what I am doing for prom. It is coming up just as quickly as the college deadlines are.

Also, when we came home from Salida where we went on spring break, the house next door was completely torn down. And I am really, well, torn up about it. I have told some of the people that I am close to how I feel about it, and all they have to say is "but it's not like it's your house".

And they're right. But, at the same time, it was a very influential house to me. I never lived there, but I learned many important lessons there. I learned not to kick down my neighbor's front door. I learned that my dog doesn't like water. I also learned that once the dogs get out the kicked in front door, it is very difficult to chase them down and get them back inside. So, as you can see, that house had a huge impact on my life!

Another thing is that just yesterday my older brother, his wife, and their little girl Tehilla all just came from Israel to visit. Now we have a little girl running around our non-baby-proofed-house. So, yeah, that will work out really well won't it?

Also yesterday, I made a huge realization. I am still "in love" with my exboyfriend. He is one of my best friends in the world and I still haven't ever felt like I was ever not in love with him and I wish that I could just get over it now and get it over with. What makes it worse, is that even though I don't think that he is planning on dating her (but there is some speculation) but he is planning on taking this other younger girl to prom. I am going to prom so I don't know how I am going to deal with the fact that he is with her, and even more so if he is planning on dating her!! Arrrrrrrgggh!!!!!!!!!! I don't know why I didn't go through this earlier. I know the dating thing changes things a bit, but I was feeling this before I found out, so I just don't know.

Last, bit definatly not least, I have been having troubles with my writing. I know that I still have some talent at it, but I don't find my own skills quite as great as I once thought I was. I used to really like everything that I wrote, and I thought it was all the greatest writing in the world, but now I'm not so sure. I guess I just seem to be floundering around and around and not going anywhere of any consequence. I just don't know why!

This year is almost over, and I just don't know what the heck I am going to do with the rest of it and how I am ever going to survive. Whatever!!

Lizzie~

More From IST and now Israel

Hey! It still amazes me how amazing it is to be back home! I just love it!!

I told my friend Alyssa that I would have a story about pickles, so eventually I'll get to that, but let me start with some intro to this particular blog, post, thing.

I decided, back when I first blogged after coming home from my 6 week trip, that I would DEFINATELY NOT post about my trip in the order that it happened, and however confusing that is going to make it for all my dedicated readers out there, I apologize in advance. Unfortunatly with my first post that was specified, I went against my own rule and wrote about the first week, well, first. So, now I will follow my rule, and I will write this post on my trip through the desert.

We went into the Negev, the desert in the south that makes up about 50% (or something like that) of Israel. We went into a part of it called a maktesh(I don't know how to spell it, but this is it phonetically: mah-k-tay-sh), and did our hiking in that (Second pic is of the maktesh before we entered). A maktesh is a geological phenominon that only occurs in Israel. It is like a crater that is so big from each side to the other side that you can hardly see the opposite side at the widest parts. You could almost compare it to the Grand Canyon, but instead of being long and made by a river, it is round, and was made by layering of hard and soft rock. Then an ocean covered it, and it turned into a mountain of sorts. After that there was a crack on the top of the mountain, and when rain and other forms of water got in the crack it made the crack bigger. Finally the crack got so big that it widened out to look something like a bathtub. A G-d sized bathtub, that is what a maktesh is.

So, that is what we were hiking in. It was not a desert like what you would see in Aladdin, but it was many rocks and tall walls, a few scattered plants and the very occasional oasis surrounded by greenery.(Third pic is us in the maktesh hiking) The hours from 1 till 3 we were not allowed to hike because it got to be so hot that if we stayed out for more than 15 minutes we would be completely dehydrated and would not be able to rehyderate ourselves fast enough, so we had to sleep in the shade under a rock.

Before we got to the place we were to start hiking from, we got to visit an Alpaca farm. I am a knitter, and I love alpaca yarn, but the animals that the yarn comes from, I don't like as much. They are like bad tempered, ugly llamas. (First pic is of alpacas)

Now, to rapidly change subjects again, I will tell you the story about pickles.

When we were hanging out under the rock during the hottest part of the day in the desert, not everyone could sleep (me included). Right before we were told to go to sleep, we had been given lunch (last of the pics above). One of the things we were given for lunch was pickles, and very few people actually ate them, so we ended up with about a can and a half left over. Well, all the people who couldn't sleep were bored, so we went about trying to find something to do.

One kid found something to do that entertained all the people who weren't sleeping. He took a pickle from one of the cans, and slowly placed it in one of the sleeping kid's hands that was only open enough for a pickle to fit in. When he didn't wake up, we all had to try to keep from laughing, because that would have surely woken him up.

Then someone who did not have as steady hands as the first guy, tried to put a slice of orange in the kid's other hand, but he woke up. When he woke up, he looked at the orange in his hand and was unhappy to find out that we had found it funny that it was there, but it took him a whole three minutes more to even realize that the pickle was in his other hand at all. Had he noticed it right away it would have been funny, but the fact that he didn't notice it for the first while was even funnier! This story is probably one of the most boring stories you have heard in a while, and I apologize for that. Now that I have used up your time, bored you to tears (if not to sleep), and shown/told you more about my trip, it would seem that my work here is done.

Have fun with whatever is left of your summer, I know that there is almost nothing left of mine! And I will hear from you later, and post again sometime soon!

Lizzie~

Poland Writing

In Poland, on IST, we went on what I call "the tour of the death of Poland". We went to death camps, labor camps that turned into death camps, we went to a shtetl, (a cute, little village like Anna Tevka in Fiddler on the Roof), but after seeing it- we saw where all the people from the shtetl died. So we got a full tour of death in Poland. So, being the person that I am, I wrote alot when I was doing this touring, and this is one of my favorite writings.

Singing Eli Eli

I'll never sing that song
the same way again.

Suddenly it all means more to me.
And to think,
it meant so much to me before,
that I had no idea how much more
there was.

The sand,
stuck between my toes from the beaches
of my past.

The sea,
the calming sound you search for in shells.

The rush of the waters,
washing away the dirt from my feet
when walking in the woods.

The crash of the heavens,
lights flash, and loud booms shake the earth.

The prayer of the heart,
every poem is a prayer from my heart,
soul, mind, and every fiber of my being.

Just being there,
just seeing all we saw that day.

Feeling all the tension and emotion
in the air.

It made the words feel different,
as if I put blue sunglasses on my
thoughts.

I had mever cryed while singing
that song before,
it was a song of hope,
and still is.

That hope seemed so small,
when sung after seeing a world of hate.
Yet it was so strong.

People,
yes- people we didn't know,
came to listen to us,
yes- us , a bunch of tone deaf
Jewish teens.

People came to the edge of our oval,
I'm not even sure if they could
understand a word we were singing.

It didn't matter,
sadness, mingling with hope is the
samd in all languages.

I will never sing that song the same way
ever,
ever,
ever times six million,
again.

Ever again.

~Lizzie Rose~

Explaination:

I wrote this poem after going to Majdanek (pronounced my-don-ick). After touring Majdanek, you end up at a huge dome. Under the dome there is a huge pile of ashes that were collected after the camp was liberated. All of the 98 teens and the 6 American councelors and the 2 tour guides that we had in Poland all gathered in an oval next to the dome, and we sang Eli Eli. It was the first time that I had cried when singing that song. So that is where I got the inspiration for this poem. (The picture at the top of the post is of the pile of ashes under the dome, it was said that each handfull was one person, and there were uncountable numbers of handfulls of ashes in that pile. Even that picture does nothing to show the size of the pile.)

Further Explaination:

Eli Eli is written by a woman Chana Senesh, a female paratrooper. She was caught and killed, and after the Nazis killed her the found some of her writing in her pocket. It was the poem Eli Eli. This is the song (I will leave off the Hebrew and just write the English).

Eli Eli (Oh Lord, My G-d)
I prey that these things never end.
The sand and the sea,
The rush of the waters,
The crash of the heavens,
The prayer of the heart.
The sand and the sea,
the rush of the waters,
The crash of the heavens,
The prayers of all.

~Chana Senesh~

I wrote this poem after going to Majdanek (pronounced my-don-ick). After touring Majdanek, you end up at a huge dome. Under the dome there is a huge pile of ashes that were collected after the camp was liberated. All of the 98 teens and the 6 American councelors and the 2 tour guides that we had in Poland all gathered in an oval next to the dome, and we sang Eli Eli. It was the first time that I had cried when singing that song. So that is where I got that sing.

I'm Home!!!!!

Oh my goodness, it is so GREAT to be home!!!!! I have done so much since I last posted that I don't even know where to begin! I have gone to Poland and experienced the five day tour of death of the Jews. I have gone to Israel and seen the Western Wall, and toured so much that I almost feel like I could lead a few Israel tours myself with all my new knowledge. Not to mention all the hiking that I did. I not only did some really really fun dayhikes, but I also went on a 4 day from six in the morning until you made it to the next campsite (around sunset which is approx. 8:00 p.m.) every day.
On that hike I was one of 18 kids and 4 councelors to go from Sea 2 Sea (the Mediterranean Sea to the Sea of Galilee) or from one side of Israel to the other. 18 teens might seem like alot, but compared to the 98 that were on the entire trip, it was a very intimite group. In that group many boarders were broken, and ties were made, and so many inside jokes were made that if I were to see one of them in the grocery store I could say all of 3 words (and that is at most three) and make them crack up.
On this trip there were two kinds of madrichim (councelors), there were the madrichim that came with us from the US (all but one came from Colorado), and there were the Israeli madrichim or Israeli staff members. That was very exciting! It was such a change for me to have native (or almost native) Israelis with me on a group tour, though they were only there for the part spent in Israel.
In Poland we had our US staff members (not called madrichim until in Israel) and two tour guides. One was Devorah and the other Rabbi Levi Cooper. They were two outstandingly amazing people. When I say that I mean that they were not only fantastic tour guides, but they really knew how to talk to people, no matter what age, and they had great hearts as well as great heads.
I don't want to bore you any longer, so I will finish telling my story(in bits and pieces) filling in random pieces of the puzzle that is called IST (Israel Study Tour) until you get as clear a picture as I can paint in your head. I hope that everyone here has been well, even without my superb presance, and that you will still be my friend!
Have a super day and Happy Belated Birthday to me (on July 12th) and one of my bestest best friends Ashley (on July 14th, yes I am two days older!)!!!!
Lizzie~

Hello, Goodbye

Hello Blogging world! And at the same time, goodbye! I am about to embark on what is bound to be one of the most exciting, saddening, beautiful, life-changing, amazing trips of my life! I am leaving on Monday morning to go to Poland and after a week in Poland, I will fly off to Israel.

I am excited and nervous all at the same time. I am being torn in two by emotions that are both the same and irreconcilible. I have spent the last week and a half in band camp, (with my boyfriend as drummajor, which is so exciting! and my "band daughter" Alyssa) and I have been told by my boyfriend and "daughter" that I will be missed very much for the six weeks I will be gone and that it is sad that they will not see me for that long (being the longest time I have ever been away from them!) !

I have also been struggling through the difficult yet really really cool music. But I will be able to get that memorized by the time I need to.

When I am in Poland, I will see the concentration camps, and that is going to be one of the hardest times for me in my life. I will write so much poetry, that I think I may have to get a new poetry book. So, when I get back I just might have to throw a bunch of poetry at you when I get back in six weeks!

Lizzie~

P.S. I had so much more to write, but I have to go eat dinner!

Asking Questions

Have you ever asked questions that you never wanted to have answered, but you can't help but ask. I keep asking myself questions and don't know if I want them to be answered. I can never really tell that I am asking the questions until I try writing a poem, and they just sort of come out on the paper. One of them came out in this poem.


Untitled

When he looks at me,
can he see me smile inside?
When he smiles,
does he know I blush bright red?
Every time, no matter where,
I feel my heart soar.
It can't be held down,
it is too strong, it's wings beat too fast.
When I'm with him,
can he tell I'm nervous?
When he holds my hand,
does he feel it shaking?
Does he really love me?
Or can he really not tell?


(Inspiration: Eddie Lyon)


So, I don't know if I am the only one who asks questions like that, but if I am, thank you for bearing with me. I really want the answers, but I am afraid that they will be ones that I didn't want to hear. Am I the only one who feels that way? I don't know!

Well, I am having a fabulous time not being in school, so far!! I saw the Pirates of the Carribean 3! It was amazingly fantastic!!!!!! I loved it so much! I really think that it is one of my favorite movies I have seen in quite some time! The first in a trilogy is always the best, but this one was really close to surpassing the first for the title of "the best"! I didn't like the second one as much, so we didn't buy it, but we are going to have to so we can buy the third and have it make sence!

Hope that everyone is having a wonderful begining of summer!! I send my love to all my friends and family bloggers or not.

Lizzie~

life is amazing, while you have it

Yes, this is a continuation from the first two "Life is Amazing" posts, and yes life is, and always will be, amazing. In those first two posts in this three part series, I spoke of the troubles I was having with my dog. Fortunatly, and unfortunatly, those troubles are in the past. On Wednesday, we had to put my dog to sleep. Dante was a beagle, and died at the young age of nine. He has been a companion, a company when I was in charge of an empty house watching movies late into the night, and a friend that wouldn't ever have the chance or ability to share my secrets or get mad if I said something wrong. He always had unconditional love for me, and every person he ever met (though he was antisocial when it came to other dogs). He never learned any tricks (other than knowing to come when I said "treat"), and was not always the brightest dog. He was over weight and had a slight pot bellie, but I loved him and he loved me.

My family and I live on a path than many a person and/or animal travel on. When ever a dog would come in our yard from that path, no matter how much bigger they were than Dante, he would howl and howl and chase them away. One time he chased away a couple of cayotes. He was an outside dog, but just recently we had started bringing him inside when he was cold so he could sit with us and watch TV or movies. Then, during the warmer seasons, we would eat outside on our porch and he would join us to beg food off us.

I loved my dog very much, and I will miss him so very much it is hard to even begin imagining, but as my friend Jake says: "life goes on". Not only does it go on, but life is amazing!

Thank you for taking the time to read this. Have a wonderful May!

Lizzie~

P.S. On a much lighter note, Prom is tomorrow, and I am so excited!

It's a Crazy World Out There

Have you ever noticed that one day you just don't know? I certainly have. It almost seems like, one day I just got out of bed and I just didn't know anymore. I find myself using the phrase "I don't know" more and more. I don't know why I am, or why just now. I just don't know!!

How many times has life just decided to throw me a curve ball, when all signs pointed to yet another fast ball? Why? Why is it always when you least expect it? Everyone, well I think everyone, has at least heard of what happened at Virginia Tech(if you haven't, you won't hear about it from me). Well, what a lot of people don't know is that it took place on the memorial day for the Holocaust. That wasn't just a curve ball, it was so far inside, and it nearly took me out.

Sometimes, you think that you can only confide in a few people, and that everyone else just wouldn't understand. Then one day, life just drops someone in front of you, and gives you something to talk about. Then you have no choice but to talk to them about it. Then you realize that all along you were wrong, and have confided in someone else. For me it was someone I hardly even knew. In the one place I least expected to find someone.

I can hardly wait until school is out, and summer starts. But of course I am going to go straight from school into band camp, from band camp to IST and from IST to band camp once again. Then just to escape from band camp, I am going to rush into the welcoming arms of school again. Oh, joy! I know that all of those things are going to be fun, and great experiences for me, but sometimes I just can't help but wish for them all to be cancelled, so that I can spend at least one minute on myself. But, oh well. I did choose for all this. (And I wouldn't give any of it up for the world!)

You know what I hate? Besides snow. No? Well, I hate being invested in a book so that I can't just put it down without being angry with myself, but am so bored with it that I can't force myself to read it for long moments in time. And even worse is, when I know that I have a much better book waiting for me, but can't start it without finishing the other one, for fear of never finishing the other one. Maybe that's just me. Or maybe I am the only one crazy enough to get myself mixed up in stupid positions like that. I don't know!

Apparently I have to go set the table now. My favorite pastime!!

Lizzie~