School again!

For all of you who don't know...college is wierd!
I haven't yet felt homesick, but then again, I haven't really done any real school work yet either! It is like some bizarre summer camp. I feel like very soon I am going to get on a big yellow school bus and go home to my family! But part of me knows that I'm not, so I have this tiny aweful feeling in the pit of my stomach, and it is telling me that I will feel very homesick as soon as actual classes start. I don't know if I am ready for that! I am sorry that I have been so lacking in my checking up and posting lately, but I have had so much to do lately that this is the first that I have been able to do anything fun online!
I hope that you can forgive me! I also hope that all of you, whoever you are at the moment, are doing fantastically!
I also want to share something that I wrote late one night when I couldn't fall asleep. It's not very good, or finished, but if you have anything to say, please do! I need all the help I can get!

Poets are the moon.
In that, they aren't like the sun.
They can't give sustain life,
they can't give off their own light.
But rather, they are the moon.
They aren't steady,
they change and shift,
they go through phases.
Even thought they give off
neither warmth
nor life.
They light people's way
without blinding them with their greatness.
And though they don't
give off their own light
or beauty,
it's their "job" to find the
beauty of others and
in everything else,
and reflect it back
for the world to see.

That's it...sorry if you expected more!
Lizzie

Writing...

I was going back and looking through all of the posts from my past, and I realized that I haven't put up any poems for quite some time. Now I have two.
They both have almost the same title, and they are both what is called a "list" poem.
One is MUCH more light-hearted than the other. But I just thought that you might enjoy them. They are in chronological order.

Things I Learned Last Week

You send two men to a fishing expo,
You will find a pontoon boat in your basement.

When in kindergarten,
People teach you to fill in the lines.
Then there is school,
Teachers tell you to write between the lines.
As an adult,
They tell you to sign on the lines.
Then someone tells you to be abstract.
You don't know how, no one ever taught you.

Never plug something into a bad plug,
You may not have power for a day.

Life goes on,
But if you are stuck,
Sometimes friends can be the best tow trucks.

It's ok for life to be a whirlwind,
But don't spin too fast,
Or all the pretty sights will be nothing but a blur.

Walking on a crust of hard snow is good,
Until you fall through.

Things don't need to have a purpose,
Some things just...are.

Money rocks, but only if you have it.

Snow is cold, really cold.
Sun doesn't help you warm up all that much!

(Inspiration: what a wierd week!, Date:1/18/07)


Things I Learned Last Week
(And A Bit of This Week Too)

Writing is good, but overrated.

When you are depressed, beware of spontaneous explosion.

Most circumstances are only as akward as you make them.

You are never really as good as you think you are,
But then again, you aren't as terrible either.

Death and suicide scare people,
Don't mention it to them.

If you have an epiphany, keep it to yourself until the "oppotune moment",
Just trust me.

Insanity sucks, but it can be good for you.

You can be independant and relationship based at the same time,
Who knew?


(Date: 3/4/08)

So, yeah. Those are just two poems that I thought you might enjoy. If you didn't enjoy one, you are bound to have enjoyed another...or not... I guess that's your choice.
I hope that you are having better weeks than both of those that I have written about!
Lizzie~

What a year this has been, and will be!

WOW!! Oh my G-d!!! This year has been the most wonderful, crazy, hectic, aweful, terrible, sweet, amazing, bizarre, confusing, chaotic, creative, empty, full, overbooked, boring, and every other good or not so good adjective that means any of the above things ever invented in the history of the world in any and every language.

From Israel Study Tour, visiting Poland and Israel, to being a senior. From having the best boyfriend ever, to losing him. From having the most kick ass marching band show in the history of our marching band, to just barely missing first place, and knowing that we deserved it. From gaining many new friends, to feeling like I'm slipping away from my old ones. From writing some of my best "poetry" ever and creating a whole new style, to feeling like I couldn't write for a while. From starting speech, to finding out that the amazing speech coach, Mrs. Graham, is not going to continue to be able to work at our school any more due to faculty cuts that our school has been forced to make.

I don't think that I can recap the whole year in one post, so I don't think that I am going to try, just because no matter how much you like to read you certainly wouldn't get all the way through it.

I now need to make decisions about where I am going to go to college, and I have really NO idea how in the world I am going to make those decisions. I am so lost and confused about everything espcially about college and all that comes along with it.

I don't know what I am doing for prom. It is coming up just as quickly as the college deadlines are.

Also, when we came home from Salida where we went on spring break, the house next door was completely torn down. And I am really, well, torn up about it. I have told some of the people that I am close to how I feel about it, and all they have to say is "but it's not like it's your house".

And they're right. But, at the same time, it was a very influential house to me. I never lived there, but I learned many important lessons there. I learned not to kick down my neighbor's front door. I learned that my dog doesn't like water. I also learned that once the dogs get out the kicked in front door, it is very difficult to chase them down and get them back inside. So, as you can see, that house had a huge impact on my life!

Another thing is that just yesterday my older brother, his wife, and their little girl Tehilla all just came from Israel to visit. Now we have a little girl running around our non-baby-proofed-house. So, yeah, that will work out really well won't it?

Also yesterday, I made a huge realization. I am still "in love" with my exboyfriend. He is one of my best friends in the world and I still haven't ever felt like I was ever not in love with him and I wish that I could just get over it now and get it over with. What makes it worse, is that even though I don't think that he is planning on dating her (but there is some speculation) but he is planning on taking this other younger girl to prom. I am going to prom so I don't know how I am going to deal with the fact that he is with her, and even more so if he is planning on dating her!! Arrrrrrrgggh!!!!!!!!!! I don't know why I didn't go through this earlier. I know the dating thing changes things a bit, but I was feeling this before I found out, so I just don't know.

Last, bit definatly not least, I have been having troubles with my writing. I know that I still have some talent at it, but I don't find my own skills quite as great as I once thought I was. I used to really like everything that I wrote, and I thought it was all the greatest writing in the world, but now I'm not so sure. I guess I just seem to be floundering around and around and not going anywhere of any consequence. I just don't know why!

This year is almost over, and I just don't know what the heck I am going to do with the rest of it and how I am ever going to survive. Whatever!!

Lizzie~

I'm back

If you have read my blog previously, you will remember that I didn't know what was going on between my boyfriend and I. Well, now I know. He and I broke up about a month and a half ago. I guess I just didn't know that I was ready to tell you yet. But, I guess I am. I was really afraid of this time, because I didn't want to lose him. Not that I needed him as a boyfriend, but I just needed him. I now know that I didn't lose him, we just took a step back down the relationship ladder, from boy/girl friend, to friend, really close friend. That is the best thing that ever could have happened, no matter how sad it may sound.

I also have had some trouble writing my poetry in the recent past, and just now I have refound my talent, but it is the talent that i had, but it is now very very different than it used to be. Instead of the very organized very structured form that I used to use, it is now mostly stream of thought writing, and despite the wierdness of it, I find myself loving it!!!!

Finally, I read one of the best books ever. I am not just saying that. It is amazingly outstanding. It is the book for anyone who can read, and who wants a book unlike any other, with writing so outstanding that it moves you in your core. It got many children's book awards, but it is MOST DEFINANTLY NOT a children's book! It is The Book Theif by Marcus Zusac, and it is...wow!! It is the book for anyone who likes to taste words, just bite them off one at a time, swish them around in your mouth so you can taste every aspect of them, and enjoy them to the fullest before you swallow. If you just want to sink into a good book, this is the one for you!

Hope the best for all who read my posts and those who don't!
Lizzie~

Band, Law, Boys, Brothers, Girls, and a little bit of School in Between

Wow! It has been so long since I have even been on here, nonetheless actually posted! Since that time, my band has taken second in state (though if we had gotten to actually perform a second time like we were supposed to we would have won!), gotten an intrest in law, had times of wondering about the stability of my relationship with my boyfriend, wondered about whether my brother is really the person he seems to be, been completely fed up wiht some girls and gotten closer with others, and then had to keep up with my school work even with all these important things going on.

First off, let me tell you the darker news. I have no idea what is going on with me and my boyfriend. Sometimes we are the closest people on earth and he isn't just a boyfriend but also a best friend. Other times I can say "hi, how are you?" and all I'll get is a shrug and "good". I just want to say "yeah, whatever to you too", but I don't. I guess that I am just very very confused!!
Now for the lighter stuff. Law! I love law! I thought that people who said that they thought that I would do well in law were completely off their rocker, but now that I get into it, I love it!!!

Then, band. I know that what I said about us winning sounds like what everyone who gets second says, but this time it is true. The judges that Dr. C talked with almost all told him that they knew that had we been able to perform again we would have taken state!! Then Dr.C said that this last football game that we did was like our finals performance, and if that is true then we so totally win, becuase Legacy (1st place band) was so scared that they didn't even show up, meaning we win by default!!

Next, my brother. So, he has had some problems in the past; lighting his pants on fire, drinking, setting things other than his pants on fire (the bank of the canal for one), going to court for arson, ect. But just this weekend I learned something about him that I would never have guessed. He told me his "little secret" (which he will never actually know I told you becuase you won't tell!!!!!). His "little secret" is that he actually watches and enjoys the show on MTV Americas Next Top Model. We spent all of Saturday night watching the reruns that I had taped from that day. It was a wierd sort of bonding time for us.

Girls. I have been getting kind of fed up with some girls (in band) and at the same time I have grown closer with others. I will stick with telling you about the good not the bad. There is this girl who I first really got to know when I invited her over to talk with me on my trampoline (a VERY good place to talk), and we talked about all the things that we thought were really important, but were really nothing. This weekend I saw that she didn't look so happy, so I sat her down on the sidewalk and told her to spill it. After she did, I gave her advice on what to do (it was a guy problem) and then when I was done she said that the sidewalk was not nearly as comfortable as a trampoline, but that she was glad that I would give her advice any way. Just this morning she said that she had done what I told her to do (advised her to do) and I was thinking oh no it made him hate you and you are blaming me, then she continued to say that there was a rumour going around that he was going to ask her out sometime this week. I was so proud of her for sucking up her pride just like I told her to!

Then school, well, other than the fact that I love having a whole class dedicated to poetry, there isn't much I can say!!

And now that I have thouroughly bored you till your brain turned to mush and dripped out your ears (see why I don't often write in the morning), I have a poem for you.


Roses are red,
Violets are purple,
NOTHING RHYMES WITH PURPLE!!

So we say that
violets are blue,
so we can rhyme it with words like
You, to, two, too, and achoo!!

So, roses are red,
and violets are blue,
but they're really not blue,
they're really violet which is
a kind of purple,
but nothing rhymes with purple-
or orange- unless you say it
wierd 'cause then it sounds like doorhinge.

But doorhinge doesn't make for
very good poetry-
or does it?

Roses are red,
Oranges are orange,
Nick Weiber* I want you to run into a doorhinge.
The end!

*You probably don't dislike Nick like I do, so you can insert the name of anyone you dislike in Nick's spot and it will work the same (though first and last names or a 2 syllable name works best for flow and rhythm)