Have you ever noticed that one day you just don't know? I certainly have. It almost seems like, one day I just got out of bed and I just didn't know anymore. I find myself using the phrase "I don't know" more and more. I don't know why I am, or why just now. I just don't know!!
How many times has life just decided to throw me a curve ball, when all signs pointed to yet another fast ball? Why? Why is it always when you least expect it? Everyone, well I think everyone, has at least heard of what happened at Virginia Tech(if you haven't, you won't hear about it from me). Well, what a lot of people don't know is that it took place on the memorial day for the Holocaust. That wasn't just a curve ball, it was so far inside, and it nearly took me out.
Sometimes, you think that you can only confide in a few people, and that everyone else just wouldn't understand. Then one day, life just drops someone in front of you, and gives you something to talk about. Then you have no choice but to talk to them about it. Then you realize that all along you were wrong, and have confided in someone else. For me it was someone I hardly even knew. In the one place I least expected to find someone.
I can hardly wait until school is out, and summer starts. But of course I am going to go straight from school into band camp, from band camp to IST and from IST to band camp once again. Then just to escape from band camp, I am going to rush into the welcoming arms of school again. Oh, joy! I know that all of those things are going to be fun, and great experiences for me, but sometimes I just can't help but wish for them all to be cancelled, so that I can spend at least one minute on myself. But, oh well. I did choose for all this. (And I wouldn't give any of it up for the world!)
You know what I hate? Besides snow. No? Well, I hate being invested in a book so that I can't just put it down without being angry with myself, but am so bored with it that I can't force myself to read it for long moments in time. And even worse is, when I know that I have a much better book waiting for me, but can't start it without finishing the other one, for fear of never finishing the other one. Maybe that's just me. Or maybe I am the only one crazy enough to get myself mixed up in stupid positions like that. I don't know!
Apparently I have to go set the table now. My favorite pastime!!
Lizzie~
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Hi Lizzie, Sorry I haven't written lately but between working so many hours, gardening, errands and housework .... well, you get it. I agree with the title of your latest post - it is a crazy world sometimes. I find that realizing that nothing is really permanent and and we have very little control over what's going on can ease the shock and stress of unpleasant happenings. Yes, and most people "just don't know" - even adults. The world can by scary, but truly horrid things rarely happen. The reason they seem so prevelant is because of the terrible nature of them - they stay in our minds and overshadow everything. Don't know if I'm making sense - sometimes I can't put my thoughts into coherent sentences. Sounds like you have a summer stuffed with activities - yes, do try to find some time to just think and be yourself. That's very important. And finally. I also used to think that I should finish a book I started reading no matter how awful it was for me! But, hey, life is short and there are millions of books out there that you will love - don't bother with the ones that just don't "catch" you. Quit reading it and pick up the other one that is calling to you!! Have a good week, Alyssa
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