Asking Questions

Have you ever asked questions that you never wanted to have answered, but you can't help but ask. I keep asking myself questions and don't know if I want them to be answered. I can never really tell that I am asking the questions until I try writing a poem, and they just sort of come out on the paper. One of them came out in this poem.


Untitled

When he looks at me,
can he see me smile inside?
When he smiles,
does he know I blush bright red?
Every time, no matter where,
I feel my heart soar.
It can't be held down,
it is too strong, it's wings beat too fast.
When I'm with him,
can he tell I'm nervous?
When he holds my hand,
does he feel it shaking?
Does he really love me?
Or can he really not tell?


(Inspiration: Eddie Lyon)


So, I don't know if I am the only one who asks questions like that, but if I am, thank you for bearing with me. I really want the answers, but I am afraid that they will be ones that I didn't want to hear. Am I the only one who feels that way? I don't know!

Well, I am having a fabulous time not being in school, so far!! I saw the Pirates of the Carribean 3! It was amazingly fantastic!!!!!! I loved it so much! I really think that it is one of my favorite movies I have seen in quite some time! The first in a trilogy is always the best, but this one was really close to surpassing the first for the title of "the best"! I didn't like the second one as much, so we didn't buy it, but we are going to have to so we can buy the third and have it make sence!

Hope that everyone is having a wonderful begining of summer!! I send my love to all my friends and family bloggers or not.

Lizzie~

Exciting!!

I have the most exciting news ever!!
I am now a published author! I have been chosen to be published in a book put out by Poetry.com. Do you remember the "Manifesto of Weakness" poem I put up a while ago? That is the one that is going to be published.
I have to go, sorry for such a short post.
Lizzie~

life is amazing, while you have it

Yes, this is a continuation from the first two "Life is Amazing" posts, and yes life is, and always will be, amazing. In those first two posts in this three part series, I spoke of the troubles I was having with my dog. Fortunatly, and unfortunatly, those troubles are in the past. On Wednesday, we had to put my dog to sleep. Dante was a beagle, and died at the young age of nine. He has been a companion, a company when I was in charge of an empty house watching movies late into the night, and a friend that wouldn't ever have the chance or ability to share my secrets or get mad if I said something wrong. He always had unconditional love for me, and every person he ever met (though he was antisocial when it came to other dogs). He never learned any tricks (other than knowing to come when I said "treat"), and was not always the brightest dog. He was over weight and had a slight pot bellie, but I loved him and he loved me.

My family and I live on a path than many a person and/or animal travel on. When ever a dog would come in our yard from that path, no matter how much bigger they were than Dante, he would howl and howl and chase them away. One time he chased away a couple of cayotes. He was an outside dog, but just recently we had started bringing him inside when he was cold so he could sit with us and watch TV or movies. Then, during the warmer seasons, we would eat outside on our porch and he would join us to beg food off us.

I loved my dog very much, and I will miss him so very much it is hard to even begin imagining, but as my friend Jake says: "life goes on". Not only does it go on, but life is amazing!

Thank you for taking the time to read this. Have a wonderful May!

Lizzie~

P.S. On a much lighter note, Prom is tomorrow, and I am so excited!

It's a Crazy World Out There

Have you ever noticed that one day you just don't know? I certainly have. It almost seems like, one day I just got out of bed and I just didn't know anymore. I find myself using the phrase "I don't know" more and more. I don't know why I am, or why just now. I just don't know!!

How many times has life just decided to throw me a curve ball, when all signs pointed to yet another fast ball? Why? Why is it always when you least expect it? Everyone, well I think everyone, has at least heard of what happened at Virginia Tech(if you haven't, you won't hear about it from me). Well, what a lot of people don't know is that it took place on the memorial day for the Holocaust. That wasn't just a curve ball, it was so far inside, and it nearly took me out.

Sometimes, you think that you can only confide in a few people, and that everyone else just wouldn't understand. Then one day, life just drops someone in front of you, and gives you something to talk about. Then you have no choice but to talk to them about it. Then you realize that all along you were wrong, and have confided in someone else. For me it was someone I hardly even knew. In the one place I least expected to find someone.

I can hardly wait until school is out, and summer starts. But of course I am going to go straight from school into band camp, from band camp to IST and from IST to band camp once again. Then just to escape from band camp, I am going to rush into the welcoming arms of school again. Oh, joy! I know that all of those things are going to be fun, and great experiences for me, but sometimes I just can't help but wish for them all to be cancelled, so that I can spend at least one minute on myself. But, oh well. I did choose for all this. (And I wouldn't give any of it up for the world!)

You know what I hate? Besides snow. No? Well, I hate being invested in a book so that I can't just put it down without being angry with myself, but am so bored with it that I can't force myself to read it for long moments in time. And even worse is, when I know that I have a much better book waiting for me, but can't start it without finishing the other one, for fear of never finishing the other one. Maybe that's just me. Or maybe I am the only one crazy enough to get myself mixed up in stupid positions like that. I don't know!

Apparently I have to go set the table now. My favorite pastime!!

Lizzie~

Well, that was short

Hey guys! Guess what!
My internet is back on!! I think that it won't be so sketchy like it was before either! I am very excited! (If you couldn't already tell by my over use of the exclamation points!!) I want to thank Alyssa for being the only one who has commented and answered my "challenge" if you will, to write a poem or just tell me what you are waiting for. I guess that you guys aren't waiting for anything! That is too bad, but I guess it can't be helped.
I am feeling a bit goofy today, that might explain the crazy way that I am writing right now! I love being goofy!
I hope that all is well with other people as well! Have a wondermous rest of the week! (Yes, I did just say 'wondermous'!!)
Lizzie~
P.S. I just got back from my concert band audition. The guy that does the auditions said that I did well after almost all of the pieces that I played, so that gives me hope! I really hope that I can make it into Symphonic band next year. But if I don't, I will still be happy welcoming in all the new freshmen to the big scary world of upper musicianship. Fun fun!!

Having a few problems...

Hey all!
I have some sad news to tell you. Not tragic, thankfully, but sad just the same. We are having technical difficulty after technical difficulty with our internet. The only reason that I am able to be online at all is because I am not at my house, but rather at my dad's work where they are not haveing any trouble whatsoever. I hope that if you haven't already, you will still comment on my last post, even if I don't get to see it until days from now. I am not sure when all of the kinks will be worked out. I may be on tomarrow, I may not be on again (at home) for a few more weeks. I am just not sure.
I am sorry to say this, because I know that I only get to hear from some of you via blogger, so I will not know anything about your lives, and vice versa.
Hope that we get internet again soon! Until then, have a wonderful spring! Smell the flowers! Smile at everyone that you see! I send out my love!
Lizzie~

Sometimes you just need to love

In Creative writing, there has been yet another amazing prompt given to us. This one was entitled, "What are you waiting for?" It went like this:
Today, we'll use Ferlinghetti as our inspiration. He wrote a poem called "I am waiting". Respond to that same title with your own voice; tell me what you're waiting for...

"I am waiting for my case to come up
and I am waiting
for a rebirth of wonder
and I am waiting for someone
to really discover America
and wail
and I am waiting..."
~Ferlinghetti~

My version is this:


I am waiting...

I am waiting for love.
The love you hear of in story books.
The love of your best friend.
The love of a puppy.
The love that each person,
at all times, everywhere,
should have for one another.
I am waiting,
for love...


Now instead of commenting on how wonderful (or terrible) mine is, I want to hear what you are waiting for. It doesn't need to be in poetry form, but if you are feeling daring, then I would love to hear it as a poem!!!!!! Hope that I hear from everyone that I know who is on blogger! Everyone is waiting for something, but not everyone is willing to share it with others. I hope you all are willing to share!
Lizzie~
P.S. I am in the school library, and I am lolking out the windows, and it is snowing again!! I still hate snow!!!!!

Brrrrrrr!!!

Ahhhh! It is snowing again! I hate snow! There are some people who think that I am crazy, but snow and I just don't get along. It is too cold, and when you go outside it just gets everywhere! Then you are freezing, gah! (Yes, gah!) Besides that, it means that Dante (my dog) won't get much exercise because he hates snow too! And when he comes inside, he'll track cold wet footprints all over. The ones that you can't see are the worst, 'cause you step in them and they are cold and you didn't expect them!
Besides my dislike of snow, today has started well. I just watched Legally Blonde (one) on TBS, I love that movie!!
Speaking of movies, my family and I just started NetFlix. We haven't gotten a movie yet, but that is to be expected. My mom tried to sign up for the Blockbuster verion of it, but when the guy at the store typed in her email adress, he did it wrong! it was terrible! So we had all this trouble trying to get started, but in the end we just gave up. It took quite a while to get mom to agree to try a online movie rental again, but I really think it will be worth it! Now that we got this one started, I even heard her say that she thinks we will never want to go to Blockbuster again! Good sign? I think so!
I have to start studying for the SAT now, :( too bad!
Have a great day (even though mine is snowy)!
Lizzie~
P.S. Bonjour to Sixtine, if she is out there! :)

Long Time No Blog

~Hey to all my friends out there!
Long time no blog!! It has been soooooooo long since I last posted, and boy does it feel good!
So very much has been happening in my life that I have been just dying to get out there.
Where do I start? I guess I'll start with the fact that school is getting much harder! Not all of it, but physics and pre-calc and even history sometimes.
Another of the things that has been going onin my life, is that my dog is getting dramatically better. We still have to give him fluids and this disgusting white liquid medicine and two pills. But, he is perky, fun, and generally happy!
Finally, I just found out that the lyrical and technical pieces, that concert band kids have to play for auditions for next year, are not only somewhat easy, but also songs I have already played. Not only have I already played them, but when I did play them I was really really good at them!! I am so excited.
Other than that, all I have to say is, thanks to all the wonderful people who have left wonderful comments on my blog!! You are all fantastic!
Lizzie~

Hawaii

I am sorry to say that I won't be home for the next week, seeing as I am going to Hawaii tomarrow morning. I may or may not be able to get online when I am there so, if I am not I will have to hear from all my wonderful friends on blogger next week! I hope that all of you who have spring break now I hope that you have a good one!
See ya!
Lizzie~

Recently Discovered Genious

A long long long time ago, or it seems long ago now, I wrote a post complaining about not making it into the literary magezine at my school. I was thinking of not submitting this year, but due to an overwhelming ammout of people on and off my blog page telling me to submit any way, I did.
For all you who had faith in me and kept me from just giving up and not submitting, I thank you! I made it into the Literary arts magezine this year!!
What made it in was a poem, my only bilingual poem, called "Tu es a moi" or in english "You are the one for me". To everyone who isn't going to purchase the magezine, here is my poem. Enjoy!

Tu es à Moi

Je marche,
il pleut, le ciel est bleu foncé.
J’ai froid,
mais je m’en fiche, parceque je sais que tu va être là.
Là tu es,
tu m’attends, avec une couverture.
Je souris et tu souris aussi.
La couverture en coton sent en soie,
parceque tu la tiens.
Nous marchons ensemble,
le long de la rue, au Claire de lune.
Il est minuit,
mais nous nous en fichons,
parceque nous sommes ensembles.


In English:

You are the One for Me

I walk,
it is raining, the sky is a dark blue.
I’m cold,
but I don’t care, because I know you’ll be there.
There you are,
you wait for me with a blanket.
I smile, and you smile too.
The blanket is cotton, but it feels like silk,
because you are the one holding it.
We walk together,
along the street, in the moonlight.
It is midnight,
but we don’t care,
because we are together.

And to my French friend Sixtine, this post is dedicated to you. Tell me what you think of my French poem. Thanks!
Lizzie~

A Manifesto of Weakness

I, in my high school career, am lucky enough to be taking a Creative Writing course! One assignment or prompt that the teacher gave us started with this up on the board:

Manifesto on weakness:
"All pleasure lies in weakness, not power. Our survival as a species depends on weakness of a winsome kind. By our best weakness, we keep our allegiance to this strange dance of longing we call human life. Without this weakness, we are lost." --Kim R. Stafford--
Manifesto: a public declaration of intentions and principles.

Then the teacher told us to write our own declaration of weakness, in the form of a poem. Poetry is one of my strengths, so I went right to work on it. I though it turned out fairly well! Tell me what you think!

A Manifesto of Weakness
I have a weakness for music,
music that picks up my soul and helps it fly.
The music of raindrops pattering on glass panes,
green leaves, and the black tar road.
The music of a pencil softly sliding over paper.
The "fizz-fizz" that explodes from food hitting the hot frying pan.
The music made by the clatter of silverware on china plates,
in perfect harmony with melodic voices
coming from around an oval table.
The music that is the sweet rustle of leaves blown by the wind,
that mimics the masterful symphony of the sea.
The giant's banging their drums
when the conductor gives them their bright electric cue.
The melody of birds after the drums cease.
I have a weakness for music,
the music that invades my soul,
and dances with my heart.


So, what did you think? How bad is it really? Oh, come on, be truthful!
See you, or actually, hear from you later!
Lizzie~

Flying Solo, Well Playing

In concert band, I have finally gotten a solo in the song Unravelling which is an amazingly fun song. I have always been way too freaked out to even go out for solos before. This time, I had been "forced" to play the solo by myself (instead of in a duet like before) and the assistant conductor, that had been conducting us then, said that I had really good tone, which was huge news for me. After that, the next day I had to do the same thing, but that time I wasn't quite so freaked out! Then I got really good, so the other person that I would do the duet with, told me that I should be the one doing the solo! So I said that I would. I am so so so excited!
Then at a band festival, (where bands play, and then each band gets judged by three people) and one of the judges said that not only does our band have potential to be amazing, but also that there were some very talented individuals in the band. That means the soloists (I am not the only one). Then our conductor (not the assistant) who doesn't really give out compiments very often, said "congradulations" and that I did a good job and if I just got some vibrato in the solo, that it would go from good to amazing.
So, anyone who goes to, teaches at, or knows which, school I go to, then come to the band concert tomarrow night and hear me play my solo! Hope that everyone is doing well, and having a wonderful week!!
Till next time,
Lizzie~

First

It hasn't been that long since I last posted, but seeing that post just makes me think that my whole life revolves around what isn't so happy in life (which isn't true). I have just discovered another true friend that I have made just this year, and have found that I have alot in common with her. I also feel that I have been doing alot more with my time than I am used to. I guess I have done many things lately that I havent ever done before. I bought my first prom dress, helped my mom buy her(our) first orchid, and this is the first time that I posted this soon after my last post. Lots of firsts! To all my friends out there who are also bloggers, I say hello!!
Have a wonderful March!
Lizzie

Life is Still Amazing!

I last posted about my dog's condition, about thinking that he may have had cancer, and stuff like that. Well, as I said, doesn't have cancer. What he does have, is a bad kidney. So, now we have to give him all these pills that we have to stuff down his throat(which is disgusting!) and also give him fluids through IVs. On top of all that, this weekend, well on Friday, my grandfather died. I am having a hard time just sort of keeping my head above the water sometimes, but I know that I'll make it through. Life, even now when it seems so down and blue, is amazing. Maybe life is more amazing when things don't look so good. I don't know!! To all my friends out there who help get me through the day, I thank you. To all the people out there who may or may not ever read this, but know what it is I am going through from experience, I send my warmth and condolences, and to all who keep trekking after a sad time in your life, all I can say is: good for you, I know that is difficult.

Life is Amazing!!

Have you ever noticed, or am I just weird, that life is the most amazing thing ever (!)? I have been having a wonderful amazing semester of school and have been having luck like I've never had before, but that isn't what's made me realize how wonderful and amazing life is. Just today I heard that my dog Dante may have had cancer and I got really scared for him thinking of how sad it would be if he had died. Then I found out that he didn't and that he is probably going to be OK!!(Though the doctor hasn't given a final word yet.) I really realized how much life means to me and how much I love life, and how wonderful it really is!! And for all of you who have lost a pet, I send my condolences, and hope that you can see how wonderful life is even if you must spend it with out your pet.

How do you say...

Just recently I have found myself questioning everything, but finding no answers to my questions. I don't know why I can no longer answer the questions I ask myself, but I just can't. I find myself just sort of drifting off at random moments of the day thinking things like "Why are nick-names called nick-names?" and "I wonder if there is a word for this feeling or that feeling that better describes it." Does anyone out there do things or think things like that, or am I just crazy(-er than usual)? Hope that everyone had a great winter break, and is doing well!! Much love to my friends and family, even though no one in my family blogs (so they won’t see this!)! Smile!!

Less Stress and More Stress, at the same time!

My life is a lot less stressful now that marching band is over, but in concert band isn't over, and that is still giving me a lot of stress! Not to mention, that at semester, about half of the concert band saxophones are going to be leaving. And the ones that are leaving are the ones that are the best saxophones we have in concert band! I don't know what I am going to do without them. Some I am really glad to be rid of, but others I am really sad that they are leaving. It really seems like the whole section is falling apart, and I don't know what to do about it other than cross my fingers play my best and prey that maybe one of the ones that want to quit that I don't want to quit will stay. Life has been better, and worse at the same time and I hope that things will just sort of calm down after the holidays, but if they don't, at least I won't be bored!!

Undiscovered Genius

I write a bunch, and some of it I kinda' sorta' like. I especially write poetry. I have submitted to my school's literary arts magazine two years in a row, and have been turned down both times! I am starting to lose hope! I know that part of being a writer is the frustration and hardship of sending in to be published and not being published, but should I have to go through it now? I am thinking of not submitting this year. I don't know if I should! If anyone out there has any suggestions for me, I would love to hear them!

My First Blog

Hello! This is my first blog and I am just here to say HELLO to everyone who wants to visit my blog!